Seven Reasons the Piano is Racist

A dead white male invented the piano

Dead white males are always evil: for first they are male, second they are white, and third, they are DEAD. The fact that they are DEAD is the most irritating thing about them because when you are filled with hatred for them, you want to destroy them over and over again, and when they’re already dead, you can’t hurt them. So you must try to stomp out any last vestige of their presence.

But even if the piano had been invented in Africa or Asia or anywhere else, it would still be racist, because...

Dead white males wrote so much music for the piano

The piano’s repertoire abounds with dead white male music. This just underscores how bigoted the piano is.

Slave owners had pianos

This speaks for itself. You are living like a slave owner if you own a piano. And if pianos had been good, they would have refused to play for a slave owner. Obviously they performed for slave owners, so they must be evil.

The colors of the piano

The body of the piano is usually black or brown, and the body holds up the keys, of which most are white. This symbolizes the mentality that people with darker skin should hold up the white people.

The bias against the black keys

There are more white keys than black keys. This reeks of white supremacy.

Also, the white keys are often called “naturals,” and black keys are sometimes called “accidentals”!

The piano is complex and takes months to make

From the horse’s own mouth:

The production of a Steinway grand piano takes about 12 months. If you add two years of drying and seasoning of the wood, three years have been invested and the instrument can leave the factories in New York and Hamburg to bring joy to its new owner. Throughout the manufacturing process, every grand and upright piano is meticulously hand-crafted. 

Any instrument that requires careful, precise work to create it must be racist. It’s racist to tell people they should work to earn their own living, so it’s racist to work so hard to make a piano. Especially if it requires crafting it by HAND. Slaves had to pick cotton by hand, so making a piano is like trying to bring back slavery.

Hitler listened to piano music

What more do you need to know to condemn the piano but that?

Seven Reasons the Piano Is Racist And Must Be Eradicated

For several undeniable reasons, the piano is racist and should be eradicated from society...Continue Reading→